Dreikurs, Rudolph, and V. Stolz. Children: The Challenge. New York: Hawthorn Books, 1964.

This is a classic work in the area of parenting that focuses on understanding children's behavior in terms of four goals including seeking attention, gaining power, taking revenge, and expressing feelings of inadequacy. Dr. Dreikurs' approach offers positive methods for dealing with each of these goals in ways that encourage mutual respect, productive interpersonal interaction, independence, and reasonable negotiation. His ideas form the basis of what is referred to as "positive parenting." For more on positive parenting, see the entries listed below by Jane Nelsen and Kathryn Kvols.

Greenspan, Stanley I. The Secure Child: Helping Our Children Feel Safe and Confident in an Insecure World. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Perseus Publishing, 2002.

Recently penned by Dr. Greenspan, this book is quite timely in view of current events. Dr. Greenspan focuses on the family unit as the best resource for instilling in our children a healthy sense of self characterized by confidence, security, and the capacity to effectively deal with the many challenges of our world culture. He begins by outlining the characteristics of a secure child, and then follows with strategies for fostering these characteristics at various stages of development.

Kurcinka, Mary Sheedy. Raising Your Spirited Child. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991.

Kvols, Kathryn J. Redirecting Children's Behavior. Seattle, Washington: Parenting Press, Inc., 1998.

Kathryn Kvols uses the ideas and techniques offered by Rudolph Dreikurs to redirect children's unwanted behavior toward the development of constructive behaviors. The book is easy to read and follow and offers a very good checklist in the appendix of common behaviors for children ages 18 months to 18 years. For more information about this parenting strategy, go to www.INCAF.com or www.redirectingbehavior.com.

Nelsen, Jane. Positive Discipline. New York: Ballantine Books, 1996 (Revised edition).

Originally published in 1981, this classic is now available in paperback as a 1996 revised edition. Expanding on the principles set forth by Rudolph Dreikurs in his landmark book Children the Challenge, Dr. Nelsen provides an easy to follow guide that assists parents in assessing the goals of their children's misbehavior, and then applying specific strategies to deal with the targeted problem. Her approach is to transform problem behaviors into productive parent-child interactions that enhance a child's overall sense of self and self-worth. She gives an excellent review of how to use natural and logical consequences in curbing unwanted behavior while also applying techniques for encouraging good behavior and creating an atmosphere of mutual respect. Dr. Nelsen has further refined her ideas in a series of books that specify positive discipline strategies for various developmental stages as well as in special family settings. They are all listed here.

Nelsen, Jane, C. Erwin, and C. Delzer. Positive Discipline for Single Parents. Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing, 1993.

Brazelton, T. B. Toddlers and Parents. New York: Dell Publishing, 1989 (Revised edition).

Fraiberg, Selma H. The Magic Years. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1959.

Originally published in 1959, the examples are slightly dated, however, the information provided is timeless and excellent. The Magic Years aptly takes the reader into the magical world of a young child's mind and shows us from the inside out what it is like to negotiate the world in the early stages of development. The concepts presented offer an in-depth understanding of the major developmental tasks that face children from ages birth to six as well as how children handle them in light of their growing capabilities.

Greenspan, Stanley I., with N. B. Lewis. Building Healthy Minds. Cambridge, Massachusetts, 1999.

Greenspan, Stanley I., and Greenspan, N. T. First Feelings. New York: Penguin Books, 1985.

The Greenspans outline six milestones in the emotional development of the child between the ages of birth and 48 months. What is particularly helpful in their approach is the discussion of how children's individual temperaments can effect their rate of development as well as their capacities to cruise through some developmental tasks easily while having much more difficulty with others. The Greenspans' validation that children come with certain temperaments and predispositions allows parents to feel better about so-called lags in development while also providing them with concrete ways to assist their child in overcoming obstacles. Each chapter comes with an easy-to-follow summary of what parents can do to aid in the development of each milestone. This is an important book for parents and clinicians alike in understanding early emotional development.

Mahler, M. S., Pine, E., and Bergman, A. The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant. New York: Basic Books, Inc., 1975.

Nelsen, Jane, C. Erwin, and R. Duffy. Positive Discipline: The First Three Years. Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing, 1998.

______________________________. Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing, 1998.

Greenspan, Stanley I., with J. Salmon. Playground Politics. Reading, Massachusetts: Perseus Books, 1993.

Sarnoff, Charles A. Psychotherapeutic Strategies in the Latency Years. Northvale, New Jersey: Jason Aronson, Inc., 1987. (For Clinicians)

Dr. Sarnoff offers an excellent discussion of the primary tasks of ego development during middle childhood. He methodically defines what he calls the "structure of latency," which is basically a constellation of drive tasks and defensive operations that allow for the resolution of emotional and drive related conflicts for purposes of cognitive expansion, mastery, and learning during the elementary years. His discussion of defense mechanisms is extremely helpful in understanding the problems associated with this developmental period, and the treatment strategies offered are invaluable. The readability is somewhat difficult, but worth the time and energy. This is a book for clinicians to read, reread, and refer to throughout their work with children.

 

ADOLESCENCE

Barkley, Russell A., G. H. Edwards, and A. L. Robin. Defiant Teens: A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Family Intervention. New York: Guilford Press, 1999. (For Clinicians)

Clinicians will love this step-by-step treatment program for helping parents deal effectively with defiant teens. The program consists of eighteen sessions, each offering specific educational and psychotherapeutic content, tasks, and homework. The sessions are accompanied by handouts for parents that further elaborate the information offered in each session and provide instructions for homework exercises. In addition, there is an excellent and thorough assessment section complete with assessment tools and guidelines for collection and use.

Jaffe, Michael L. Adolescence. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1998.

Adolescence offers an excellent and detailed discussion of the major developmental phases of adolescence including attention to puberty, cognitive growth, emotional development and moral development. Chapters dealing with identity issues, peer relationships, sexuality, schooling and achievement, family relationships, and adolescents in crisis are included. This is a good book for gaining general knowledge about adolescent developmental tasks and problems. Both parents and clinicians should find it informative.

Steinberg, L., and A. Levine. You and Your Adolescent: A Parent's Guide for Ages 10-20. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1997 (Revised edition).

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Your Adolescent: Emotional, Behavioral, and Cognitive Development from Early Adolescence through the Teen Years. David B. Pruitt (Ed.). New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 1999.

This is a book written for parents. It offers a brief discussion of adolescent development and the tasks involved in navigating the teen years, however, more attention is given to the challenges of dealing with particular problems and issues during adolescence. Each discussion of specific areas of concern includes a concise definition, signs and symptoms, causes and consequences, and "how to respond" information. Parents will find this resource to be a good general guide to assessing and dealing with teen related issues.

 

Barkley, Russell A. Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete Authoritative Guide for Parents. New York: Guilford Press, 1995.

Dr. Barkley offers a thorough discussion of ADHD that includes definitive information as well as concrete suggestions for evaluation, management and treatment. Divided into four parts, Part I offers a descriptive definition of ADHD including its causes, symptoms, and impact on family. Part II is concerned with the evaluation process for diagnosing ADHD and includes some hands-on guidance for parents in coping with parent burnout. Part III is concerned with specific management strategies at home, at school, with peers, and during different stages of development. Some special attention is given to ADHD among adolescents. Part IV offers a very thorough summary of medication strategies including the types of medications used, their side effects, and when and how they can be effective. Dr. Barkley is a well-known expert in the area of ADHD who has done an excellent job of translating the current body of research in this area into a writing that is accessible to parents.

_______________. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Handbook for Diagnosis and Treatment. New York: Guilford Press, 1990. (For Clinicians)

Glasser, Howard, and J. Easley. Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach. Tucson, Arizona: Center for the Difficult Child Publications, 1998.

In this easy-to-read book, the authors unveil a step-by-step behavior management program that is based on the very specific characteristics of ADHD. As each step is outlined, they clearly link the prescribed action directly to behavioral goals related to difficulties with impulse control, self-regulation, and distractibility. They also point out how to avoid the pitfalls of straying into old disciplinary strategies that don't work with these "energy challenged" children. The approach is overall very positive while being strategically engineered to appeal to the ADHD child's high need for stimulation. Moreover, the steps offered build on each other and the authors ingenuously take the reader through this building process as they lay out the plan. It's a must for parents struggling with ADHD children.

Hallowell, Edward J., and Ratey, John J. Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood to Adulthood. New York: Pantheon Books, 1994.

Phelan, Thomas W. All About Attention Deficit Disorder. GlenEllyn, Illinois: Child Management Inc., 2000 (Second edition).

This book offers information on the Inattentive Type of ADD without the hyperactivity component. Most of the books on the market focus on ADHD and the problems associated with hyperactivity and impulsivity. Children who are dealing primarily with attention related problems have a different set of characteristics that require some different strategies for management. Dr. Phelan speaks to this group and offers a good understanding of some of the differences between the two types of Attention Deficit Disorder.

 

OPPOSITIONAL, DEFIANT AND EXPLOSIVE CHILDREN

Barkley, Russell A. Defiant Children: A Clinician's Manual for Parenting Training. New York: Guilford Press, 1987. (For Clinicians)

Barkley, Russell A., and C. M. Benton. Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior. New York: Guilford Press, 1998.

Greene, Ross W. The Explosive Child. New York: Quill, 2001 (Second edition).

Dr. Greene offers a unique view of children who are generally diagnosed as having "oppositional defiant disorder." He explains the constellation of behaviors associated with this diagnosis as more the result of an emotional developmental delay rather than temperament predispositions. From this platform, he constructs a methodology for parents and clinicians to approach the specific behavioral problems inherent with this delay that assists the child in building skills to compensate for and develop beyond the developmental lag. This is an excellent book for parents struggling with these problems as it validates the frustration and difficulty incurred in trying to work with these children using standard parenting and behavioral methods. Dr. Greene shows how such approaches can actually make things worse, and offers alternative strategies that make sense and have proven to work according to his experience. Clinicians working with children should definitely add the ideas offered by Dr. Greene to their fund of knowledge in treating oppositional-defiant children.

Greenspan, Stanley I., with J. Salmon. The Challenging Child. Reading, Massachusetts: Perseus Books, 1995.

In The Challenging Child, Dr. Greenspan develops psychological profiles for five difficult types of children: the over-sensitive child, self-absorbed child, defiant child, inattentive child, and the active/aggressive child. The book is extremely well written and rich with ideas and methods for approaching each set of challenges. All of the chapters include an initial section that defines and describes the particular typology followed by instructions for parents that include concrete suggestions about how to deal with the problems presented. The information is augmented by case studies that bring to life the descriptions offered. Overall, the book is very positive and helpful. Both parents and clinicians will enjoy and benefit from this offering.

 

Borba, Michelle. Building Moral Intelligence. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2001.

This very popular book by Michelle Borba focuses on the definition, development, and enhancement of seven essential virtues that are necessary to the formation of a fully integrated conscience. A timely book in view of the relaxation of moral development in our current culture, parents will enjoy the easy ideas and steps presented for working on each virtue with children. Each chapter includes a section entitled "moral intelligence builder" that offers concrete instructions and exercises for enhancing children's moral behavior. Dr. Borba also includes a complete resource list at the end of the book that is organized by the specific virtue in question and developmental age. The resource list includes both books and videos. This book is a must for any parenting library.

 

Faber, Adele, and E. Mazlish. Siblings Without Rivalry. New York: Avon Books, 1987.

This resource offers an extremely engaging and down to earth look at the more common problems associated with sibling rivalry. The authors address the "perils" of making comparisons between siblings, confining children to rigid roles, showing favoritism, and ignoring the influence of our own sibling experiences. Attention is also given to the problem of trying to maintain "equality" at all times in dealing with the myriad demands of each child. The chapter on "sibling fights" is most helpful and provides some concrete steps and ideas for problem solving. One of the most attractive aspects of this book is the use of numerous real examples and stories to illustrate each point or problem along with their solutions. The main points are summed up in each chapter through the use of cartoons and with summary boxes that outline the specific ideas and suggestions to be remembered. The author's own experiences enrich the materials, and the ongoing conversations of a parenting group throughout the book bring the material to life.

 

Weissbluth, Marc. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. New York: Ballantine Publishing Group, 1999 (Revised edition).

STEPFAMILIES

Nelsen, Jane, C. Erwin, and H. S. Glenn. Positive Discipline for Your Stepfamily. Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing, 2000.

Visher, E. B., and Visher, J. S. Old Loyalties, New Ties: Therapeutic Strategies with Stepfamilies. Briston, PA: Brunner/Mazel, 1988. (For Clinicians)

TEMPERAMENT

Carey, William B. Understanding Your Child's Temperament. New York: Macmillan, Inc., 1997.

Chess, Stella and A. Thomas. Temperament: Theory and Practice. New York: Brunner/Mazel Inc., 1996. (For Clinicans)

_______________________. Goodness of Fit: Clinical Applications from Infancy Through Adult Life. Philadelphia, PA: Brunner/Mazel, Inc., 1999. (For Clinicans)

Keirsey, David. Please Understand Me II. Del Mar, CA: Prometheus Nemesis Book Company, 1998.

Using the Myers-Briggs personality typology, David Keirsey groups the sixteen personality types into four categories which he calls the "Artisans," "Guardians," "Idealists," and "Rationals." He describes in detail each of these groups in terms of language, intellect, interests, personal orientation, self-image, values, and social roles. The book also includes the "Keirsey Temperament Sorter II" which is a self-examination that can be completed to determine one's temperament type using the scoring directions given. This is a book that both adults and adolescents will enjoy.

Saavedra, Beth W. Creating Balance in Your Child's Life. Chicago, Illinois: Contemporary Books, 1999.

Beth Saavedra offers a nice compilation of ideas to balance a child's life including understanding and identifying temperament, creating activities for your child's temperament type, adhering to a healthy diet, establishing warm and nurturing communication, and building character. The ideas for specific activities that appeal to various temperament types are thorough and quite useful. Parents will benefit from the listing and descriptions of activities as well as the identification of activities that soothe various temperament types. This is a handy resource for clinicians who are involved in conducting play therapy.

 

THERAPEUTIC PLAY